“I spoke to your doctor and he says that you can have your sex
reassignment surgery whenever you want,” my aunt told me the next day.
“How soon can I have the surgery?” I asked.
“I have an appointment later today. If he gives the go-ahead you will
have the surgery tomorrow.”
I couldn’t believe this was actually going to happen, and so soon.
Later that day my aunt took me to the doctor who would be performing my
surgery and he gave me a last examination.
“Her body has become totally feminized as a result of the hormones
and I know Paula has successfully been living as a young woman for some
time now. I feel comfortable going ahead with her surgery. I can set
this up for tomorrow if you agree. Paula, you do understand that this
surgery is permanent. Unlike your breast implants, which can be removed,
once you have a vagina you will be a female for the rest of your life,”
“I understand and I can’t wait,” I replied.
“Wonderful. Be at the hospital at 7 AM tomorrow.”
I was in a daze for the rest of the day. I would have to stop using
my hooks although I knew I would start again after I recovered. My aunt
would not require me to use my hooks until I felt ready again.
On the day of the surgery my aunt drove me to the hospital. It was
very early in the morning. I was asked to remove all my clothing
including my bra and get into a hospital gown. A nurse then came in and
shaved very carefully over the area of my surgery. I had shaved there
earlier, but she touched things up to make sure there was no stubble at
all. A short while later I was placed on a gurney with just a sheet over
me. I was given an injection of a powerful tranquilizer. I was rapidly
drifting off into some sort of dream state. I don’t remember much about
what came next. I know I was put under general anesthesia. I had been
told the surgery would last about three hours.
Later in the day I woke up in the recovery room. I was very groggy.
The nurses kept checking my blood pressure and other things. I was
finally wheeled into my room. I had on a hospital gown again. They must
have put me into it while I was still under. I was helped into the bed.
I couldn’t see anything below and I couldn’t feel anything. I did notice
that there was a tube coming from between my legs. I was told it was a
urinary catheter and would be removed in a day or so. I was given some
fluids and told to try to sleep. Later I was fed a small amount of food.
I don’t even remember what it was I was so out of it.
The next morning the doctor came in and lowered the sheet and pulled
my gown up. I looked down as best as I could and saw that I was bandaged
completely. I was starting to feel some pain. I was being given some
strong pain killers and they made me feel rather spacey. I had something
to eat for breakfast and later I had to go to the bathroom. I didn’t
need to pee since I had the catheter, but I had to go the other way. It
was a struggle to get to the toilet, but the nurse helped me walk.
“The surgery was a complete success,” she said. “You are physically a
female now.” I was so happy I started to cry.
The next day the Foley catheter was removed. I was happy since I kept
having these spasms. They were like I had to pee really badly. The nurse
told me to just relax and pretend I was peeing. Of course I couldn’t
really pee, but it helped. The pain was bad and all I wanted to do was
sleep. On the fourth day the doctor came in and removed the bandages and
packing in my vagina. The nurse held a mirror so I could see my new
vagina for the first time. It was raw and red, but there was no trace of
my former male anatomy. I had a smooth contour and I could see my
vaginal opening. I was just so happy. I could also see where my urethral
opening was above my vagina. I would no longer be able to pee standing
up. I hadn’t done that in months anyway.
On the fifth day I was ready to be released. One thing I would need
to do was to dilate my new vagina. This process involved the insertion
of long cylindrical dilators of varying diameters into my new vagina and
keeping them in for 15 to 30 minutes. I needed to start with a small
diameter and work up to the largest. The nurse coached me through it the
first time explaining the lubrication procedure. With my legs spread I
slowly inserted the dilator. I kept pushing it in. I couldn’t believe
how far in it went before I was told to stop. I would have to dilate at
least three or four times a day for the next couple of months and then
two and eventually one time each day. That would be in six months. After
a year I was told I would be able to dilate less frequently unless I had
problems with the largest size dilator.
I was able to dress in sweat pants and a long sleeve top. It felt
good to be wearing my bra again. One thing I had to do out of necessity
now was to wear a feminine pad. I would need to change it at least six
times a day since there would be a discharge. I would need pads for
several weeks at least. I was wheeled to the car and my aunt drove me
home. I would need to spend at least a week resting.
Gradually the pain lessened. I got used to the dilation routine. This
did not turn me on as you might expect since I had yet to get any sexual
response down there. This was expected. Kevin came to visit me several
times. I showed him my new vagina and he nearly flipped.
“Oh Paula, it’s fantastic. You must be so happy,” he said.
“You will too in six weeks or so. That’s when I can have
intercourse,” I told Kevin.
I pretty much dressed very casually while I was recovering. I didn’t
wear pantyhose or heels. My aunt let me wear the sweat pants if I
wanted. I just wore slippers most of the time. Every morning when I
bathed I loved to look at my new vagina. I was a girl now, totally
female in every respect.
After a week I felt much better and I wanted to go out. My aunt
invited Kevin to go out with us for lunch. I dressed up in a short
skirt, pantyhose, heels and a sleeveless top as I usually did. When I
got out in public I was so excited knowing that I was all girl now. I
used to be very discrete in the ladies room to make sure my true sex was
never revealed by a prying eye. Now I didn’t have to worry. I had a
vagina just like all women did.
After two weeks the remaining labial sutures were removed and my
doctor said I was doing extremely well. He made sure I was dilating and
I told him I had no trouble with the largest size dilator. I also
mentioned that I was rapidly gaining sexual feeling. It was so
incredible to have those feelings without worrying about any kind of
erection. If I was sexually aroused nothing would give it away even
under the skimpiest bikini bottom. I had no bulges of any kind between
my legs. I just loved the way I looked down there. I still had to wear a
pad, but I only had to change it a couple of times a day. I knew that in
a week or so I would only need a panty liner and eventually nothing. My
aunt said that now that I was a female I would not have to wear pads
unless I wanted to. I thought that maybe I would try a tampon even
though I would never have a period. That might be sort of fun and make
me feel like I did have a period, Maybe I could do it on a monthly
basis. I now had a place to insert the tampon.
My aunt said I could use them during the day, but that it would be
better to use an overnight pad when I went to bed. I went to the
drugstore and looked over the choices in the feminine products aisle. I
felt right at home there since I was completely female now. I decided to
buy two large boxes of Tampax super size tampons.
“That time of the month again dear?” the sales lady asked.
“Yes it is,” I replied. I felt so feminine buying such personal
When I got home I rushed into the bathroom and pulled down my
pantyhose and panties. I disposed of my pad and opened the box of
tampons. I had researched how to use them on the internet. I unwrapped
one and inserted the applicator deep into my vagina. I then pushed the
applicator forcing the tampon out and into my vagina. After removing the
applicator all I could see was the string used to remove the tampon. I
pulled up my panties and was so pleased to see that I had a totally
smooth and feminine contour. There was no bulge from a pad. I pulled up
my pantyhose and let my skirt drop. I rushed to tell my aunt.
“I love having a tampon inserted. I don’t even feel it,” I said
“Paula, remember to change your tampon every six hours.”
“Of course,” I eagerly agreed. I knew I would enjoy the procedure. I
was excited that I would have to do it in the ladies room when I went
“I love having a vagina. It makes me feel so feminine,” I said.
“Well you are a very beautiful and feminine girl Paula,” my aunt said
as a compliment.
That night I removed my tampon and flushed it down the toilet. I
placed a fresh pad in the panties of my nightie. I became immediately
aware of the bulk of the pad. I liked wearing pads, but somehow using
tampons now made me feel even more feminine since I knew that boys were
not able to use them. Being a girl was so exciting. I still got a thrill
as I looked at my bare and full breasts. I always wore a sleep bra since
I felt more comfortable with some minimal support for my breasts. I fell
asleep as happy as I could remember being.
The next morning after I dilated and bathed I couldn’t wait to insert
my first tampon of the day. I got the same thrill I had the day before.
I spent extra time on my makeup. Boys had no idea what they were
missing. There were so many things girls did that made them feel so
feminine. Makeup was one of them.
I Get to Wear What I Want
One day my aunt gave me some good news.
“Paula, You are now totally feminized. I know you can never go back
to being a boy and that you would never want to appear as one. From now
on you can wear whatever you want. You don’t have to wear skirts or
dresses or pantyhose. You can buy any girl’s clothes you want including
jeans and pants. You can wear long sleeve tops and even sweatshirts. You
will look like a girl no matter what you wear. Your body is so feminine
and you can never hide your beautiful breasts. I can’t imagine you would
ever want to wear boy’s underwear. Have fun and wear what you want,” my
I was very excited. I asked her to drop me at the mall. The first
thing I did was to remove my pantyhose. My legs were smoothly shaved and
I knew I looked good with bare legs. A lot of girls didn’t wear
pantyhose except for special occasions. I wore a nice skirt and high
heel sandals. I loved the look of my polished toenails showing at the
front of my sandals. When I got to the mall the first thing I wanted to
buy was a pair of jeans. I wanted these not to look like a boy, but to
look like all the other girls who wore jeans. I knew I would look good,
especially if I wore high heel sandals with jeans. I tried on several
pairs. I finally found a pair that was so tight I could barely fit in
them. I had great hips and loved the fact that being tight my smooth
crotch was evident. Since I was using a tampon there was not even the
slightest bulge between my legs. Everyone would know I was female down
there. If I was still a boy I knew that with such tight jeans I would
have a bulge. No one would doubt that I had a vagina between my legs.
My next stop was to buy a bikini. I could wear one now both above and
below. A sales lady helped me select a shamelessly skimpy one. The top
barely covered what needed to be covered of my breasts and the bottom
showed off my feminine curves. As I looked at my crotch I loved the fact
that it was so smooth. I was all girl and the bikini bottom certainly
left no doubt. I was very happy I shaved everything. The last thing I
wanted was any stubble at my bikini line. I looked fabulous and couldn’t
wait to show off at a pool or the beach.
When I got home I removed the tags and tried everything on. I was so
happy. I looked in the mirror and thought I was the sexiest girl I could
imagine. Of course I loved my skirts and dresses, but for casual wear
jeans were great. I knew that wearing pants would not make me look less
feminine. In fact I thought they made me look even more feminine since
they revealed my figure so well. Over the next few weeks I bought all
sorts of new tops. I bought tee shirts with short sleeves to wear with
my jeans and other feminine pants.
I even got some running shorts, sports bras and sneakers. I liked to
take jogs around the neighborhood wearing a sports bra and shorts. I got
whistles from guys who saw me. With my real breasts I looked really
great in my sports bras.
My recovery was complete and I wanted to start using my hooks again.
The first time I wore them after my surgery I got a thrill similar to
the first time I put hooks on. I felt even more feminine in hooks. It
was wonderful to be doing things with my hooks again. I had forgotten
the feeling of eating with hooks. The task of placing the fork and knife
in the proper position was something I loved to do. It was second
nature to me now. What was the most fun was using my hooks to insert my
dilator. Of course it was a lot harder than using my hands.
I remembered that before my surgery I was thinking about asking
Angela if I could try her braces again. I had spoken to her over the
phone and she knew I was a girl now. Of course she was excited about
seeing me again and going out as two girls in leg braces. The idea of
getting my own braces ran through my head once again. Would my aunt go
along with that? She seemed to have some agenda I was unaware of. She
was certainly eager to let me get my hooks and obviously liked me
wearing them. I would soon find out.
Does Paula get her own HKAFOs? Does she get a wheelchair too? Does she
explore yet other disabilities? Find out in the chapters to come.