Chapter Eleven - Tami Gets Her New Hooks
The next day Nancy came to help me after I got up. She still couldn’t believe I really went through with my amputations and would be truly armless for the rest of my life.
“Tami, I can’t believe you had above elbow amputations. That will make you much more handicapped as I am sure you realize. You must really love using hooks.”
“I love my hooks and now I won’t feel I am being someone I am not. I was meant to be armless. I am happier than I could ever imagine. I can’t wait to get my new prosthesis. I know I will love the elbow joints and having a second control cable to manipulate.”
“You are something else Tami,” Nancy said.
“You know how I always had to wear a long sleeve top so no one could tell I really had arms?”
“That was necessary.”
“Well now I don’t need to worry. I can wear short sleeves and even sleeveless tops. I will be very obviously armless.”
“You would want to expose your prosthesis?” Nancy asked.
“You bet. I want people to see how handicapped I am. I want them to see my elbow joints, control cables and the sockets my stumps fit into.”
“You’re nuts, but if it’s what you want. Remember, you will need hooks for the rest of your life now.”
“Yes, isn’t it wonderful?” I stated more than asked.
Of course I was almost completely helpless without my hooks. My stumps were so short I couldn’t use them for anything. Nancy had to bathe me, shave my legs, and completely dress me. She also rewrapped my stumps. I had to wear elastic bandages so the swelling would go down. Nancy carefully applied my makeup.
I had started to practice using my feet for things. I was very limber from years of ballet classes and I could stretch my legs to almost any position. I could lift small objects with my toes. Fortunately I learned quickly how to use the TV remote control with my feet. I was still pretty much helpless for most things. The neatest thing I did though was to use the telephone. With difficulty I was able to lift the handset with my toes and get it to my ear where I held it using my shoulder. I pushed the buttons with my feet. I called Mike to tell him how I was doing. He hadn’t seen my yet and was looking forward to seeing my stumps for the first time.
“Do you feel up to going out?” Nancy asked.
“Like this?” I protested.
“Well it’s going to be a while before you can be fitted with new hooks and you don’t want to stay at home the whole time. No time like the present to get out.”
I reluctantly agreed. I wore jeans and a short sleeve top that covered most of my bandaged stumps. We headed for the mall. I felt very conspicuous when we went in, much more so than with my hooks. There would be no doubt in people’s minds that I was a real amputee. I got lots of stares. The first thing we did was stop for coffee and a muffin. Of course Nancy had to feed me. I didn’t think I could use my feet to hold a cup or eat. It was a little humiliating to have to be fed like a baby. I longed for my hooks. Nancy then insisted that I get a hair cut and style. We headed to the salon that knew me. As soon as the stylist saw me without my hooks she gasped. “Tami, why aren’t you wearing your hooks?”
“Well you may have been aware that until recently I was a double below the elbow amputee. As you can see my arms now end only a few inches below my shoulders.”
“What happened?” the stylist asked.
“I developed a circulation problem in my stumps and my arms had to be re-amputated above the elbows.”
“I am so sorry. Will you be able to use your hooks again?”
“Well not the same ones. I don’t have elbows now and will need a prosthesis that has artificial elbows. Of course I will be more handicapped not having real elbows, but I am sure I will mange.”
“I certainly hope so. You were so good with your hooks I almost forgot you didn’t have real hands.”
I got a nice new cut, a little shorter than before, and a pedicure. I liked wearing nail polish even it was on my toes. We left the salon and shopped around a little. Nancy helped me try on some things. I felt so helpless without my hooks. As the day wore on I felt a little less self conscious.
That evening Mike came over to see my new stumps. When he first saw my bandaged stumps he couldn’t believe it.
“God Tami, they are really gone. You really don’t have arms now. And your stumps are so short. Can I see them without the bandages?”
“Sure. Nancy needs to rewrap them anyway.”
Nancy helped me off with my top and carefully unwrapped them. I was just in my bra. Mike could see where my stumps were stitched. They were still swollen. I looked at myself in the mirror and liked my armless look. This was permanent and I had no regrets. I thought I looked fantastic. So did Mike.
“They are beautiful. When they heal they will look just awesome,” he said.
I moved them around and I thought he would go nuts. He was so turned on. So was I. I loved the feeling of having just stumps hanging from my shoulders. Nancy wrapped my stumps once again. Eventually she undressed me and put me in my nightie. I didn’t wear panties so I could go to the bathroom without help. I could flush the toilet with my feet. I was able to wipe myself by using my foot to put toilet paper on the toilet rim. I knew my hooks would do a better job and easier.
Nancy knew Mike and I wanted to be alone and so she left us to go to her apartment to pick up some things. She was going to stay with me for at least a few weeks. Mike and I headed into the bedroom. It was the first time I had made love without arms. Mike was very gentle. It was strange not being able to touch him, at least with my hooks. My mouth did extra duty to please him. It was exquisite. I knew armless lovemaking was going to be even better than with arms.
Little by little the swelling went down and my stumps were rapidly approaching the stage where casts could be made for my new sockets, and, my new hooks wouldn’t be far off.
I was so excited when I visited my prosthetist to have the casts made of my stumps. By then the swelling was down almost completely. I still wore compression bandages and would do so for a while longer unless my stumps were in their sockets. My stumps had stopped hurting completely. I loved my armless look, but knew the look wearing my hooks would be even better. I really liked the experience of getting the casts made. I was so proud in the prosthetist’s shop since I had nothing to hide. People could see my stumps and knew I was a double arm amputee. I just couldn’t wait for my hooks.
The day of my fitting came. I wore a sleeveless top that fully exposed my bandaged stumps. Nancy and I entered the prosthetist’s shop and were greeted by the receptionist.
“Hi Tami. I guess you are excited about getting your new prosthesis,” she said.
“Oh yes. I can’t wait to be able to do things again. I feel so disabled with just my stumps,” I replied.
“I assume you are getting hooks. They are so much more functional than anything else and much less expensive,” she said.
“Oh yes. I wouldn’t have anything but a pair of hooks.”
We sat down to wait and I knew a few people were looking at me. They probably felt sorry for me. Being a double arm amputee was a lot more of a handicap than losing a leg. A young girl about sixteen was sitting there in a wheelchair. She was wearing shorts and I could see her single bandaged stump. She must have been a recent amputee. She looked at me and then at her stump. I could see she had been weeping.
“It will be okay,” I said to her. “Losing a leg is not as bad as it seems.”
“I guess so,” she said. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost my arms like you did.” It felt very nice to know I was a real amputee now.
After a few minutes we were should in. The prosthetist greeted me. He then got my new hooks. One look at them and I became very aroused. They were beautiful. I could see the elbow joints and the extra control cables to lock and unlock them. I knew I would be much happier with arms that were normal length, although I knew that above elbow prosthetics had forearms that were a little shorter than real arms. That made raising and lowering them easier as well as getting close to the body. Nancy removed my top and then unwrapped my stumps.
“Your stumps are nicely healed,” the prosthetist said. “Having real stumps will make your prosthesis fit much more comfortably than your last one.”
He then slipped stump socks over each stump. I just about had an orgasm as I slipped my stumps into their new homes, my above elbow sockets. They felt so comfortable there. My prosthesis felt like it was part of me, not like it was with my hands curled up. I was truly in heaven. I knew I would wear my new hooks every waking hour. They looked so incredible. To me they were beautiful, works of art, better than hands. He then spent a few minutes adjusting the harness.
“This is a preliminary adjustment. After a week you should come back and I will adjust the straps the way you want them,” he explained.
It took only a few minutes for me to learn how to lock and unlock my elbow joints. I knew I would have to do some practice to adapt to not having my own elbows. However, I was so skillful at using hooks that I knew it would not take long for this added handicap to be mastered. My first obstacle was trying to get my top on. Even though he said I couldn’t do it myself I wanted to try. I could do this when I was pretending as a DBE. Now I knew it would be almost impossible. Because I had to use my main control cable to lift my arm I had to use my shoulder to activate it. Unless I locked the elbow I needed to keep my shoulder in the right position to apply tension to the cable. This combination pretty much eliminated the possibility to put a top on over my head. I quickly gave up and had the prosthetist do it for me.
“I knew that would happen,” he said laughing. “You elected to be a DAE.”
“I know, I know,” I said laughing too. “So I need some help with a few things. I can live with that.”
“More than you think Tami,” the prosthetist replied.
“Well Tami, these are permanent. You won’t ever be a pretender again,” Nancy said.
“I hope not. I really need them now. So, how do they look Nancy?”
“Well they are certainly something, especially with your sleeveless top on. You must be pretty self conscious,” she said.
“Actually I’m not. I want to show them off. Strange as it seems I want people to see my new arms.”
“Well they will the moment they see you Tami. I still can’t believe that you wanted to have your arms amputated. You are certainly a very unique person,” Nancy said.
I was so excited. I now had hooks out of necessity. I really needed them. I would never have to pretend again. I couldn’t wait to try them out. I knew I needed practice.
“I want to go shopping and then out to eat. I am so anxious to try out my new hooks.”
Nancy agreed and we went to the mall and shopped for the rest of the day. I sure got a lot of stares. Everyone could see my complete prosthetics and no one could possibly doubt that I had no arms except for short stumps below my shoulders. I loved the way I looked. I glanced at myself every time we passed a mirror. I was nowhere near as functional as I was with my old hooks. Things were a lot harder. I did have articulating wrists, but I had a lot of trouble trying to rotate my hooks into position. This added to the thrill. I liked the more extensive handicap I now had to live with. I knew I would never be able to do some of the things I could do with my old hooks. We went to the ladies room and I tried to comb my hair. That was a disaster. It used to be easy, now it was nearly impossible. I knew I would get better with practice. Nancy helped me go to the bathroom. Getting my panties down was much harder now. The full impact of how much more handicapped I had become was sinking in. Nevertheless, I enjoyed locking and unlocking my elbows and using my main control cable to raise and lower my arm to the desired position and then lock the elbow. The added steps to using my hooks made me more aware of my handicap. I had to remember to unlock and lower my arms when I walked around. It was tempting to leave my arms bent out. I knew it wouldn’t look as natural walking around that way. Every time a grasped something with my new hooks I got a real thrill. I was now really a double arm amputee and I had absolutely no regrets about my drastic decision to have my arms amputated.
We stopped off for dinner. It was an interesting experience. I made a mess of things. Without the ability to raise and lower my arms, except by pulling on my control cable, made eating really a complicated process. Nancy and I laughed as I frustratingly tried all sorts of ways to get the fork to my mouth. I did manage to hold a wine glass. Thank God for that. I really needed a drink.
That night I felt more excited than I had ever felt before. I knew that every day to come I would be using my new hooks and getting better and better. This was truly the way I wanted to be. I loved my new hooks and how comfortable I felt wearing them. The need to lock and unlock my elbow joints and using my cables to raise and lower my arms continued to thrill me. Mike came over to see my new hooks.
“Tami, they are soooo cool. You are my hook goddess for sure. I think your new body image is perfect. I could watch you use those hooks and never get tired.”
Of course I got the opportunity to make love with my new hooks on. I didn’t want to take them off. When Nancy finally got me ready for bed and removed my prosthesis I would be dependent on someone to help me dress and undress for the rest of my life. I would always need help with some personal things. Knowing I would never be independent again didn’t bother me. I was almost disappointed that I wasn’t going to sleep in my hooks that night. Of course the morning would come and I would be able to get back into my new hooks that I would use for the rest of my life. I fell asleep and dreamed of all the things I would do using my wonderful new hooks.
To be continued.