Our Hook Adventure
No Going Back
Jean and I had developed our relationship and were now passionate
lovers. We loved the way we looked as amputees with hooks. Neither of us
could even consider going back to using our hands for anything. Our
lives were now wonderful and we enjoyed living and working full time
with our hooks. However, the constant presence of our concealed hands
was becoming more and more of an annoyance. Perhaps it was time to
consider becoming real amputees.
“Kate, are you getting tired of having stupid hands inside our
sockets? I know I am,” Jean asked.
“Yeah, me too. I wish we had real stumps. It would be so much better
and more comfortable to have stumps inside our sockets,” I replied.
“So why don’t we take Brian up on his offer and have our
amputations?” Jean asked.
“I guess it is time. The only question is do we become double above
or below the elbow or some combination?”
“It has to be double above for me,” Jean said emphatically.
“Really? We would be much more limited.” I said.
“That’s fine with me. I like the idea of needing to lock and unlock
my elbows. Think how much fun it would be. Remember the girl we met? I
loved the way she looked with her two above the elbow hooks. Just the
thought of having two little short stumps really turns me on,” Jean
We talked it over for a long time and we both decided that double
above the elbow amputations would be the best option. We even considered
becoming double shoulder disarticulates, but tossed that out since we
knew that use of hooks would be very limited. We loved having hooks and
using them much too much. When I looked over pictures of DAE amputee
stumps I just loved the idea of having two little useless arms. What
could you do with DAE stumps? They would be too short to hold anything.
You couldn’t even touch them together if they were really short.
Things moved quickly after we informed Brian of our desire to take
him up on his offer. We were not sure how he pulled it off, but we were
admitted to a very private clinic for our amputations. Brian arranged
for transportation. We wore our hooks of course. The staff was very
understanding and led us to our room. Our nurse never said anything
about our hooks, but we were certain she knew we were not amputees and
why we were there.
After getting settled, our doctor came to our room. He had us remove
our hooks so he could look over our arms and discuss the level of our
amputations. We told him we wanted the amputations to be as high as
possible but sufficient for a standard above the elbow prosthesis. The doctor made
certain that we understood that our decision would not be reversible and
that we would be severely disabled for the rest of our lives.
"You will need hooks for real. You can't decide to use arms and hands
you no longer have," he cautioned. "Are you prepared to spend the rest
of your lives without arms?"
"Oh yes," we both said.
I will never forget when the doctor marked the level of our
amputations. My stumps would be just long enough for an above the elbow
prosthesis and no longer. The marks he made were even higher than I
expected. Our surgery was the day after we arrived at the
clinic. After the doctor left we put our pretender hooks on for the last
time to eat dinner. We barely slept that night.
The next morning we were prepped for surgery. Everything was kind of
a blur after we were given some strong sedation. Jean and I both woke up in recovery at the same time.
Our nurse came
over with a glass of water and a straw and gave us each a sip.
“Are they gone?” I asked.
“Yes dear, both of your arms have been successfully amputated,” she
replied. "You are now permanent double arm amputees."
“Can we see?” Jean asked.
The nurse brought over a mirror and pulled down the sheet revealing
my new stumps. They were heavily bandaged, but I could see that my arms
were gone a few inches below my shoulders. I moved my new stumps and
immediately felt pain. She showed Jean her new stumps.
“Wow! We really are double arm amputees,” I said.
Until we got our hooks I knew we would both be helpless. Someone
would have to bathe us, dress us, feed us, and help us go to the
bathroom. We could not touch our bodies anywhere and so we would have to
be wiped when we went to the bathroom. I was very happy and I figured
Jean was as well.
“Any regrets?” I asked Jean.
“None at all. I know I will love my new body. I just can’t wait to
get my permanent hooks. I know we will probably need help now and then,
but I bet we can help each other with our hooks. I bet we can even shave
each other’s legs,” Jean said laughing. “I for one can’t wait to be out
in public in a sleeveless top showing off my hooks and knowing that
everyone will know my arms end above my elbows.”
The next day we were able to go home. Brian arranged for a full time caregiver to take care of us until we
got our hooks. At that point we could probably get by with only some
part time care. We would have trouble bathing and dressing as well as
toileting. We figured that we could help each other for the most part.
Our recovery was not pleasant as we were really helpless. Of course
we had pain as well as our stumps healed. We had to be fed, bathed and
generally have everything done for us. We did really enjoy looking in
the mirror at our new bodies. The sight of our tiny stumps really turned
us on. The feeling of being armless was difficult to describe. We could
imagine our arms were still there, and even close our eyes and pretend
to move them. Of course reality set in and there were no longer any arms
to move. We really wanted to get our hooks.
Finally the day came. Our caregiver, Jenny, drove us to Bill’s shop to be fitted with our
new hooks. We had previously been molded for the above elbow socket.
“You girls must be very excited,” she said.
“You have no idea,” Jean said.
“At least you have lots of experience using two hooks,” Jenny said.
“Oh yes, but this will be a little bit more challenging since we will
not have elbows. We will have to lock and unlock our elbow joints and
use our control cables to raise and lower our arms,” I explained.
"I can't imagine why anyone would want to have their arms amputated
and spend the rest of their lives using metal hooks, but I know you
girls love using your hooks," Jenny said.
Both of us were incredibly excited as bill slipped a pair of stump
socks over our short little stumps. We were both just wearing our bras.
I was the first to slip my stumps into the sockets of my new prosthesis.
We were happy we had articulating wrists as we knew they would now be
essential. We tilted our hooks all the time when we were below the elbow
pretenders. It is hard to express the thrill I had as Bill adjusted the
straps and cables and I raised and lowered my forearms. I locked my
elbow joints and opened and closed my hooks. It was even more exciting
than I had imagined. Life would be fantastic now that I had the hooks I
would truly need for the rest of my life.
Jean was next and I knew she felt the same way as I did. I watched as
she played with her hooks just like I did. Bill helped us put on our
sleeveless tops. We each looked in the full length mirror and liked what
we saw. Everyone would know immediately that our arms ended well above
our elbows. We liked to show off our prosthetics and nothing like a
sleeveless top did that.
On the way back home we insisted that Jenny stop for dinner so we
could show off in public. We were not really proficient with our new
hooks and locking and unlocking our elbows was tricky. We knew lots of
people were looking at our hooks since we both were sleeveless. Eating
was much harder than we thought it would be.
"Kate, do you like the fact that things are harder now?" Jean asked.
"God yes. I love the fact that I have no feeling below my elbows. I
love looking at my forearms as I raise and lower them with my cables."
I had to look since I had no other way to know where my hooks were at
any given time. Wothout any sense of touch everything was visual.
Over the next few weeks we got used to our new hooks and armless
bodies. In the morning we loved to admire our stumps before we put our
hooks on. Both of us loved the first time we went out in public shopping. Of
course we went sleeveless. We passed a women and heard her say to her
“Those poor girls have no arms. I can’t imagine having to live with
metal hooks instead of hands. They look like they don’t mind,” she said.
We loved shopping in our hooks. Of course it was much more difficult
now. Handling money was harder needing to lock and unlock our elbows. We
had to carefully position our arms and hooks to do things. Eating, of
course, was more of a challenge, but we loved it. We never hesitated to
speak to people who were reluctant to mention our hooks. They usually
asked if we needed help. Sometimes we did, but usually we said we could
do things with our hooks, but it just took a little longer.
We developed techniques to help each other do things we either
couldn’t or had a lot of difficulty doing. We became fairly independent,
but still had someone come in to help us with really difficult things.
At night when we took our hooks off we liked to play with each other’s
stumps. We could kind of hug each other with our stumps as we kissed. Of
course we used our tongues a lot to mutually pleasure ourselves. Of
course our hooks served that purpose too. We were deeply in love and
liked each other’s bodies. Having just two little arm stumps was so
exciting. Knowing we would spend the rest of our lives with only stumps
was such a thrill.
Eventually we returned to work and were happier than ever. The young girl we had
met weeks ago came in one day and saw immediately that we were DAEs now.
“I thought you two were both below the elbow amps,” she said.
“We were, but we had some complications and had to have our arms
re-amputated above the elbows, We are just like you now,” I said.
“You must hate it,” she said.
“Yeah, things are harder, but since we were used to using hooks we
could adapt pretty easily,” Jean said.
The three of us went out to lunch and shared stories about our lives
with hooks. Lisa joined us. She was using her wheelchair, but we could
see she had her braces on too. The girl seemed well adjusted now and we were happy for
that. Of course she would never know that we loved being armless. We
were sure she didn’t like being armless and needing hooks.
Lisa was considering becoming permanently paralyzed from the waist
down and we figured that our decision was spurring her on. The only
concern she had was that she didn't want to lose her ability to become
aroused. That would spoil everything. Maybe it was possible. Of course
she would insist on becoming urinary incontinent. She loved her catheter
too much not to want to be truly incontinent.
We never had a clue where all of this would lead after we watched
that documentary. We certainly had quite an adventure and we knew a new
one was just beginning. We would be armless and use hooks for the
adventure that was the rest of our lives. Fortunately we had each other.