Vicki Hooks
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The Transformation
by Vicki

Chapter 25

A Major Decision

The urge to be disabled came back with a rush a couple of weeks after I could walk normally. I was at the mall and I saw a woman in her twenties with absolutely no legs. She was in a wheelchair like my ultra-light except she had no foot rests. I guessed she was a double hip disarticulate. She had jeans on, or at least the top. The legs were cut off and sewn shut. It was like she was wearing a bag over what was left of her lower body. She was alone and wheeling around. I followed her discretely into the lingerie department of a department store. She had on a sleeveless top and I could see her bra straps slipping off her shoulders slightly. She really turned me on. I wanted to know what it felt like to be just like her. I knew full well what it was like to be confined to a wheelchair, but the thought of having absolutely no legs was tantalizing.

“Can you reach those blue panties for me?” she said startling me. I was next to her looking over the panties on the wall. “I wear a size six.”

“Oh sure,” I replied getting the panties and handing them to her.

“Thanks. Being down low is a bitch.”

“I know exactly how you feel,” I replied.

“You do? Have you ever had to use a wheelchair?”

“I was paralyzed several years ago and spent two years in a chair almost identical to yours. Eventually I had surgery that worked and I could walk again,” I lied.

“Oh wow. I would never have guessed. I lost my legs because of cancer five years ago. They had to amputate at my hips.”

“I am so sorry,” I said.

“I am used to it now.”

Her name was Lois. We shopped together and even went for a cup of coffee. She told me her story and thanked me for helping her shop. I went home with an entirely renewed desire for a disability. I wanted a permanent one, but not my legs, I liked my legs and the way they looked in nylons, paralyzed or not. I had to think about this. I needed to speak to Andrea. The next day Andrea came over.

“I think it is the time for me to become permanently disabled,” I said.

“Oh. I had the feeling you would eventually take the route that I did. What disability do you want? You have tried so many,” Andrea asked.

“I don’t know. I do love wearing hooks. Would you mind showing me your stumps?”

“Of course not. Help me off with my hooks.”

I helped Andrea remove her top, hooks, and stump socks. She had two lovely above the elbow stumps.

“If you go double above the elbow you will be quite disabled as I am. I need lots of help for things. Once I am in my hooks I can do a lot of things you do when you wear your below the elbow hooks, but not everything. The locking and unlocking of my elbows is always necessary. I am sure you know all this already. Have you considered permanent paralysis or being permanently blind?” Andrea asked.

“A little. I am not sure I want to be blind or a quad. I like being able to get around without help. I could do that if I was an arm amputee or was paralyzed from the waist down. I do like my legs and the feeling of wearing pantyhose and crossing my legs wearing a short skirt.”

“Since I was born female I am not quite so turned on by pantyhose clad legs. I can understand it in your case. You appreciate the female body more since you weren’t born with one. You had to work hard to look the way you do. If you do want your arms amputated you will have to decide if you want to be a below or above the elbow amputee,” Andrea replied.

“Why did you decide on above the elbow amputations?” I asked.

“I spent many days pretending to be a below the elbow amputee. There were things I couldn’t do, but not that many. I wanted a greater challenge,” Andrea explained.

I helped Andrea back into her hooks and clothing. We chatted some more about my need to decide if I wanted a permanent disability and what it would be. Later that day I inserted a Foley catheter and asked my aunt to help me into my iron lung. I wanted to spend a few days that way to think. When the pump was turned on I fell asleep. I was always comforted by the cocoon the tank provided. My urinary needs were taken care of by my catheter.

Kevin came over the next day and we talked about my pending decision. He loved me in hooks, but said he liked all my disabilities as long as he could care for me. After three days of thinking I made my decision. I wanted both arms amputated above the elbow, high up, with just enough stump for a prosthesis.

The Real Life Test Begins

My aunt took me to see Dr. Marks. I wore my hooks. I explained that I wanted to become a real double above the elbow amputee.

“You are very proficient with your hooks I can see, but being above the elbow will be a much greater handicap. You also need to show that you are comfortable living 24 hours a day without arms. Before I agree to the surgery you need to spend the next six months as an above the elbow amputee. You need to be restricted such that you either use hooks or your arms and hands are restrained. You also need to get a special prosthesis that simulates that of an above the elbow amputee”, he explained.

He went on to tell me about the surgery and recovery that I would expect should I still want the surgery after six months. He would also contact my prosthetist to prescribe my new prosthesis and restraint devices. I was eager to get started on my trial period. I decided that I would wear my DBE prosthesis full time until my new hooks were ready. I was both ecstatic and apprehensive as we walked out of the doctor’s office. I was happy I had on my hooks since made the moment more intense.

The next day we went to see my prosthetist. Of course my hooks were on. After my top was removed the prosthetist helped me out of my hooks and removed my stump socks. I resisted using my hands and just let them hang limply. For the next hour he made molds of my arms all the way up to my armpits. He had me curl up my hands the way I do when they are inside the sockets of my prosthesis, He made many measurements as well. He said my new prosthesis would be ready in a week.

The week dragged by as I waited for my DAE hooks. I felt very comfortable with my DBE hooks of course. I had my aunt bathe me and shave my legs. This would prepare me for the way I would need to live for the next six months and then for the rest of my life. I never used my hands even once. Finally I got a call that my new prosthesis was ready.

After my DBE prosthesis and stump socks were removed the prosthetist unscrewed both of my Hosmer 5X hooks. Since they cost quite a bit he could use them on my new arms by just screwing them in. He attached the control cables to each hook and placed new stump socks on my arms. I was thrilled as I inserted first my right arm and then my left arm into the sockets as the harness was placed over my shoulders. My new prosthesis was very different from my old one which only had sockets that went part way up my forearms. My new forearm sockets went all the way up to my elbows. The upper arm sockets went up to my armpits. My upper and lower sockets were joined by rigid hinges. There was a second control cable that connected to one of the hinges. I knew that this was for locking and unlocking my elbows. I was just so incredibly excited when I realized that I would more than likely have a prosthesis like this for the rest of my life. Of course I would have elbow joints and my forearms would not be sockets, but rather solid substitutes. My prosthetist made preliminary adjustments to the four cables and the harness straps. The prosthetist explained some things to me.

“Paula, there are some innovations to help simulate a DAE prosthesis. The elbow locks work normally, but a real amputee has to lift her arms using the main control cables, lock her elbows and then she can open and close her hooks. Since you have arms you can lift your arm without the use of the control cable and your shoulder. You could try to keep your arm limp and use the cable, but this takes a lot of dedication. To make a better simulation I have two mechanisms. The first is a simple spring that constantly wants to lower your arm. This works with the inner hinge. The second is a special lock that prevents you from raising your arm unless there is tension on the main control cable. You have to use the cable to raise your arm. Unless you lock your elbow hinge the spring will want to lower your arm. These two mechanisms provide a very good simulation of how it will be when your arms end above your elbows.”

I practiced for the next half hour as he adjusted the cables and straps to perfect lengths. I knew immediately that I was now significantly more disabled. Not only did I have to deal with the need to lock and unlock my elbows I had absolutely no ability to rotate my forearm. My arm was rigid from the armpit down except that I could bend my elbow. The only ways I had to position my hooks were by using the tilt feature of my wrist units or manually rotating the hook. The latter was really hard to do. I knew it would take me a lot of time to position my hooks for some tasks. I really liked that idea. Before we left the prosthetist showed me the two restraints he had made per my doctor’s orders. Each one consisted of two padded plastic cuffs riveted together to form a figure eight.

“Your doctor told me to tell you that you must wear these restraints at all times unless you are wearing your prosthesis. They are waterproof and you can be bathed while wearing them. Someone will need to place them on you as soon as your prosthesis is removed. You must never use your hands.”

I knew that something like this was going to be required. After some final adjustments we were ready to leave. It was then that I realized I would probably never use my hands again unless after six months I decided I did not want to go through with my amputations. On the way home we stopped for some lunch. I could barely manage with my new hooks. I had a lot of practice to do.

“You look so lovely in your new hooks Paula,” my aunt said.

I wondered if the people in the restaurant regarded me that way. I knew some guys did. Once in a while I could tell when one of them was looking at my hooks. Well maybe it was my legs or boobs, but I suspected it was my hooks.

After we got home Kevin came over to see my new hooks. He loved them and the fact that I would be using them permanently or at least for six months. When it was time for bed my aunt helped me out of my clothes and my prosthesis. She immediately fastened the larger cuff of each restraint around my upper arm just below my armpits. Then I raised each arm and she fastened the smaller cuffs tightly around my wrists. The buckles were on the outside so I could not get at them with my mouth. The restraints gave me the illusion that I had only stumps as I hoped I eventually would. After she helped me into my nightie she helped me get into bed. I would spend the night and all future nights with my arms folded up to my shoulders where my hands were positioned in a useless manner. The next morning I would begin my first full day as a double above the elbow amputee. What would the next six months be like?

The exciting conclusion is next.

Chapter 26

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