After spending two enjoyable months wearing my
braces and getting around in my manual wheelchair I felt it was time to
learn to walk again without my braces. I had really felt a kinship with
Angela considering that I really needed my braces as she did. I
absolutely could not walk without them and my two forearm crutches. I
did not get a booster shot and Dr. Marks told me that it might take
several weeks or even a couple of months for me to walk naturally since
I had spent so many months paralyzed and not walking while I was in my
iron lung. He was right.
After three weeks a felt only a slight improvement.
I still needed my braces. After a month I tried walking with my hip
locks taped in the up position so that I could swing each leg
independently. I could do this now. The pelvic band and the hip locks
were a pain and I wanted just KAFOs and not HKAFOs. My aunt took me to
me orthotist and he suggested a new pair of braces. My aunt paid extra
for a rush job. These braces were really much better and I got around
easier. Unfortunately I stopped improving after six weeks. Dr. Marks
said that sometime there is a “memory” issue and in some cases it might
even be permanent. Would I be partially paralyzed permanently? I hoped
not, but I knew I could live that way.
Another month went by. I was out a lot with Kevin,
Darlene, and Angela. I satisfied my desire to wear my hooks by using my
power chair. There was still no improvement. I was genuinely paralyzed,
maybe forever. I was able to stop using catheters. I got around very
well in my braces. After three months without an injection and no
improvement I started to think that this was now permanent. I would be
in braces or a wheelchair for the rest of my life. Realizing this
changed my viewpoint. I now had what I thought was a permanent
disability and I lost interest in pretending. I even lost the desire to
use my hooks. Braces and a wheelchair were for real now.
Six months later I thought I detected a slight
improvement. I tried walking in my braces with just one forearm crutch.
I could do it. I could never do this before. It was still much easier to
use two crutches though. A couple of weeks later I tried walking with
only my left brace. I could almost do it, but my ankle was weak. I went
to the orthotist and he made me an AFO for my right leg. This was a
brace that ended at mid-calf. I still used two crutches though. I was
still a very obviously handicapped teenage girl. It wasn’t long before I
had an AFO on my left leg.
It took another month before I was able to walk in
my two AFOs without crutches. I was almost normal again except for the
much smaller braces. I liked that most of my legs were brace free and I
could cross my legs again. I could enjoy the feminine feeling of my
pantyhose covered legs when they were crossed and my thighs rubbed
together. There were so many pleasures to experience being a girl. Of
course I loved my full breasts snugly held by a lovely bra.
Finally I was able to walk without the AFOs. I
practiced for several days using my crutches for security, but ditched
them quickly. I was an able bodied female again. I celebrated by
exploiting my femininity. I went to the salon and had my hair and nails
done, I bought some really sexy clothing and enjoyed being out as a
normal girl. I lost all interest in disability pretending. That would
change of course.
One Year Later
After I woke up I slipped into my slippers and went
to find my aunt.
“Do you want a bath or breakfast?” she asked.
“A bath if you don’t mind.” I replied.
I followed my aunt into the bathroom. She removed
my nightie, panties, and the sleep bra I liked to wear. I looked at my
reflection in the full length mirror. I was certainly a beautiful girl
in spite of my recent, and permanent, body modification. I loved my long
legs and the appearance of my lovely vagina. Of course my large and full
breasts we always a source of feminine pride. However it was the two
short arm stumps with their smooth rounded ends that ended at the
midpoint between my shoulders and were my elbows used to be that I liked
the most. I was now a real double above the elbow amputee. Of course I
now needed help with a lot of things and bathing was one of them. My
aunt ran the bath and added some nice smelling bath oil. I got in and
waited for my aunt to shave my legs, pubic area, and underarms. The days
when I could shave my legs was over. For that matter, bathing was not
easy. I could use the shower, but I had no easy way to use soap, even
the liquid kind. I loved being a bit helpless. After my hair was washed
I got out of the tub and my aunt dried me off. She helped me into a
robe. We went out to my bedroom.
“What do you want to wear today?” she asked.
“How about my short jean skirt and a tank top?”
My aunt then got a nice pair of panties and
matching bra from my bureau. She helped me slip into the panties and
fastened my bra. It was time for me to get into my hooks. I knew that
after I got them on I would not be quite so helpless. She slipped a
stump sock over each of my stumps and then helped me get into the
harness of my hooks. I raised and lowered my arms and tested the elbow
locks to make sure I could open and close my hooks. She then helped me
into my skirt and slipped my tank top on. Most of the harness was hidden
by the tank top, but my prosthesis was completely visible. I liked
people to see that my arms ended above my elbows. A pair of sandals with
three inch heels completed my outfit. I selected two pairs of earrings
for my double pierces and my aunt put them through my four holes. A gold
chain completed my jewelry. She combed my hair as I would never be able
to do that myself. I could not reach behind with my hooks.
“Do you want to do your makeup yourself?” she
“Yes. I am getting better,” I replied.
It takes me a long time to apply my makeup. It was
especially difficult since I was now an above the elbow amputee. I was
good at it when I pretended to be a below the elbow amputee. When I was finished I took a look in the mirror. I loved the way I now
looked with my two hooks and elaborate prosthesis. I can’t explain how
incredible it felt having my stumps in the sockets and not feeling
anything below them. While I was applying my makeup I thought back to a
year ago when I started on the journey that led me to my current life.
Find out how Paula becomes a DAE in the next chapter.