Still Blind after a Month
A full month has gone by and I am still totally blind. I have no
light perception. I am starting to get a little nervous that something
has gone wrong and I am permanently blind. I am very well adjusted
though. I have gone everywhere with Kevin. I get by very well. Of course
I always need a guide unless I am in totally familiar surroundings. The
house is no problem. I can navigate everywhere there.
The other day I met Darlene at the mall. I asked my aunt to drive me.
When we got there I wanted to walk in by myself. She dropped me off in
front and oriented me towards the door. I was really nervous as I used
my cane to eventually find the doors. I told Darlene I would meet her
just inside the lobby. I expected her to be there. She wasn’t. There I
was standing there pretty much helpless. I didn’t dare try to walk
around the mall. I remembered that there were some benches along the
wall to the right of the entrance. I used my cane to walk over. I had no
idea if anyone was sitting there. There was as my can bumped someone’s
“Can I help you find a seat?” a woman said.
“Oh please. I am supposed to meet someone here and she hasn’t
arrived,” I replied.
The woman guided me to a vacant spot and I felt around until I was in
position to sit. I thanked the woman and just sat there. I didn’t fold
my cane as I wanted to make sure people knew I was blind. I checked my
talking watch periodically. About 15 minutes later I heard Darlene
calling for me.
“Oh God Paula, you really can’t see me?”
“No. I can’t see anything.” I was not wearing my dark glasses and I
just stared at Darlene with my blind eyes.
I stood up and Darlene hugged me. I felt her arm and found her right
hook. Feeling her hook made me miss wearing my own hooks. She started to
guide me through the mall. I had told her I wanted to get a new bikini.
She led me to the swim department. She described all the bikinis she
thought I would like. I pictured her using her hooks to take them off
the rack and hold them for me to touch. After trying a few on I decided
on a black one that was pretty skimpy. Darlene assured me I looked great
in it. I enjoyed going into the fitting rooms with Darlene’s help. She
led me to the checkout and I was so proud that I paid by myself. We
roamed around for a while and then went to the food court for something
“I can’t imagine being blind for a whole month. I know you know what
it is like to use hooks, but I have never tried being blind. I guess I
can’t try that as I am pretty sure I couldn’t hold a cane,” Darlene
Just for the fun of it I let Darlene try to hold my cane in front of
her. There was no way she could do it. Perhaps if she had some sort of
special handle on the cane she could do it. We laughed a little over her
frustration in not being able to hold the cane. My aunt picked me up
later and I said goodbye to Darlene. We hugged.
Over the past month Andrea had come to continue my home schooling.
She worked around the fact that I couldn’t see. It was a bit of a
challenge. Even though I could read a little Braille, I didn’t have any
One memorable day was when my aunt took me to the salon to have my
hair and nails done. The women were all amazed at the fact that I was
actually blind and not pretending. I had my eyebrows plucked, hair cut
and styled, and had a manicure and pedicure.
“Do you want to pick out a color for your polish?” Joan asked quickly
realizing that was impossible. “Oh sorry Paula. I guess you can’t do
We settled on the same color as I had been wearing. My aunt had to do
my nails at home since I would make a mess not being able to see. I
wanted to see how I looked with my hair cut and styled, but I had to
face that I would not be able to see my feminine body until I got my
One day when Kevin was visiting me he told me he was invited to his
cousin’s wedding and that he could bring a date. He asked if I would go
“You want me to go even though I am still blind?” I asked.
“Sure. You now get around so well that I think you would be
comfortable.” He said.
“Yes, but I need to get something to wear. My cocktail dress has long
sleeves to cover my hooks. I want something sexy without sleeves and low
cut. Can we go to the mall?”
“Neat. I can help you pick out what you want,” Kevin replied.
Kevin drove me to the mall. Our first stop was the junior dress
department. A sales lady recognized that I was blind and came over to
offer her help.
“I would really like a red cocktail dress, mid-thigh, sleeveless, and
low cut,” I requested.
“I think I can find something you might like,” she said.
Kevin followed the lady as I held on to his arm. I told her my size.
She let me feel the dress and Kevin said it was super. She then led me
to a fitting room. I tried on the dress and went back out using my cane
to feel the way.
“Wow,” Kevin exclaimed. “That is really hot.”
It felt fine on me and the sales lady agreed that the fit was
perfect. I changed back into my street clothes, paid for the dress and
then told Kevin I needed a pair of red shoes. We headed for the shoe
department. I wanted a pair of platform pumps with a five to six inch
heel and a one inch platform. A salesman got several pairs in my size. I
tried them on.
“Since I can’t see them you need to pick for me,” I told Kevin. He
made the choice.
Our final stop was lingerie. I wanted a red bra. Kevin was a bit
nervous roaming around the bras. Fortunately another sales lady spotted
us. She was very helpful describing the bras to me. After I tried a
couple on I bought them both. A girl can’t have enough bras. We headed
The wedding was fantastic. My aunt helped me dress and make sure my
makeup was perfect. I met Kevin’s parents who had no idea I was blind.
They accepted me.
“Oh Kevin, she is absolutely gorgeous,” his mother said.
I had no idea what I would say when I could see and met them again.
At the reception Kevin and I danced and the meal was wonderful. One of
his female friends helped me out in the ladies room and even touched up
my eye makeup. I wondered what she thought as she looked into my blind
eyes. I was very happy that I was relaxed and not a bit nervous
throughout the event. It was so satisfying to be out in the world as a
I Finally Start to See Again
Six weeks went by and I still had no light perception. My aunt took
me to see Dr. Marks.
“This can happen Paula,” he explained. “I feel confident that you
will start to see again in another couple of weeks.”
“You mean I will be blind for two months?”
“I am afraid so.”
I returned home really depressed. It wasn’t that I minded being
blind. I did like it. It was that two months away from the enjoyment of
my other handicaps was a long time. I resigned myself to going another
two weeks in darkness. I was almost fully adapted to living as a blind
Kevin loved my new black bikini. I was used to swimming at his pool.
I was becoming familiar with the surroundings and could find my way to
the ladies room by myself. Some of the other people there recognized me
and knew I was blind even without my cane.
Finally after ten weeks I started to see some faint light when I was
outside in the sun. It was nowhere enough to actually make things out
and I had to use my cane. Two more weeks went by and I could make out
shapes. Not enough for me to stop using my cane when I was out in
public, but I could get around the house now without it. I was
functionally blind for a total of three months so far. Over the next
week I rapidly improved. I still couldn’t read, but I could do
everything else. In another week I was just about back to normal as a
sighted person. I could now see that I was still a very feminine young
woman. Seeing my breasts and vagina again made reminded me that I loved
being a girl. I was so happy to use my hooks and braces once again.
My Aunt’s Secret
Soon after I got my vision back my aunt and I were eating dinner. I
was using my hooks. Of course I loved eating with hooks. I had been
wearing them since I got up.
“Paula, I think it is time that I explained why I have been so
supportive of your handicap pretending,” my aunt said.
“I could never understand why you wanted to transform me into a girl
and least of all why you have let me do my pretending. I am so happy you
made me a girl though.”
“Well I have been keeping a lot of things from you. First of all I
need to tell you that Andrea is my daughter. She agreed not to tell you
from the start. We have also been keeping something from you about her
amputations. She did not lose her arms in an accident. She had them
voluntarily amputated when she turned 18 years old. She wanted both arms
gone above the elbow. She now feels she has the body she was meant to
have. She absolutely loves needing hooks.”
I was speechless.
“Let me go on. I am sure I have told you that my husband was killed
in an accident. Andrea was only ten. I came into a very large sum of
money in an insurance settlement. A couple of years later it all started
with Andrea. She had this girlfriend at school. This girl’s mother had
had Polio when she was a little girl and wore two long leg braces.
Andrea was fascinated by this and read everything she could about Polio.
She told me she wondered what it would be like to wear braces. At first
I was a little shocked by her interest, but she persisted. She pleaded
with me to have braces made for her. I eventually gave in and she got
her first pair of braces at 12 years old. She said she wanted to be just
like a Polio poster girl.”
My aunt got up and came back a few minutes later with a picture.
“Although Andrea was a few years older I dressed her just like the
girl in the picture and even found shoes similar to the ones in the
picture. I had them attached to her braces. She had several pairs of
shoes with stirrups mounted and I could switch them for her. She wanted
to wear braces all the time. I had to take her out of school and home
school her. I got concerned and took her to a Psychologist. After many
sessions he told me she had a condition that many suffered from and that
there really wasn’t a cure. He recommended that I let her fulfill her
“I am like her, aren’t I?” I asked.
“Yes Paula, you are. In any case she became my handicapped daughter.
She seemed happy for several months before she wanted to explore more
things. I am sure you know that many children with Polio had to live in
iron lungs. Well Andrea was fascinated by iron lungs. She wanted to find
out what it would be like to be in one.”
“Did she?” I asked.
“Oh yes. I had plenty of money and found one for sale. It was from
the 50’s and still worked. I had it shipped here and set up in Andria’s
“Did she use it?” I asked.
“Oh my yes, that and many other things. She spent a lot of time in
her iron lung, You obviously know that she got an interest in arm
amputations and hooks,” my aunt continued.
“Whatever happened to the iron lung? Does Andrea still have it?”
“No. She is married as you know and her husband does not know
anything about this. He thinks she lost her arms in an accident. She is
content now with a permanent disability. The room I keep locked is not a
storage room as I told you, but Andrea’s room filled with her appliances
including her iron lung which still works.”
My heart was starting to race as I pictured what might be in this
room. I never thought about an iron lung until now, but it really turned
“Can I see the room?” I asked.
“Yes. I think you will be quite amazed at what is in there. I am sure
it will encourage some new interests you may not have thought about.”
My aunt started towards the room and I eagerly followed.
What is Andrea's room like and what is in it besides an iron lung? Will
Paula spend time in Andrea's iron lung? Find
out in the next chapter.